Coordinates: In bed with tethered internet
Yesterday afternoon with no notice, a guy on a motorcycle and Telmex clipboard appeared to swap out my modem for a new fiber optic modem. I discovered about an hour later that the wifi no functiona, but by then he was already gone. I had signed without checking that he finished his work.
Note to self: don’t sign my name on *nothing* until I have verified that the job is done correctly.
This put me onto the topic of power and boundaries. The only leverage I had in that situation was my signature. Once I had given it, he could show his boss that he completed his job, even if he hadn’t.
In today’s missive, we’ll start with a list of signs that you’re suffering because of the lack of boundaries. Don’t worry if you feel called out by the list. I feel called out by the list, and I’m the one who wrote the damn list.
Is the laundry a sprawling mess?
Are the dishes a sprawling mess?
Is the entire house a sprawling mess?
Is it hard to button your jeans or are they falling off?
Is there healthy home-cooked food in the house?
Is the pantry back-stocked with excellent food?
Are you prone to minor injuries often?
Have you recently experienced a major injury?
Do you wish to injure yourself or are you already?
Can you sleep?
Can you poop?
Is your physical health in tatters?
Have your loved ones told you that your procrastination or stuckness is harming them?
Have your loved ones told you that your coping patterns or addictions are harming them?
Is your job in danger due to your actions or lack of action?
Are you meeting your commitments?
Are you notifying the people when you miss a commitment?
Are you engaging in the cracking conversations needed to update your commitments?
Are you enjoying the living plants in your home?
Are you enjoying the animals in your home? (tame ones or wild critters like geckos included) but… (kids and husbands not included)
Are you tending to your altars and beautiful spaces?
The higher your score, the more you’ve been disassociated or numb to what your body, heart, and deepest wisdom have been trying to tell you. This list might not make obvious sense, but I know that when these foundational pieces of aliveness are missing, the being suffers. When the full being that we are suffers, our close relations suffer. When our relationships suffer, our community and world suffer.
I score myself a 6.75 out of 21.
On one hand… Eep! On the other, I can clearly see where there’s more self-love coming to me, and start to get excited as I address these. For example, there’s a healer I want to start working with regularly for the weird gut issues that have popped up in the last two months, and two sibling black kitties I wanna invite into my life.
Yay!
There’s no shame here, whatever number you added up to.
The goal isn’t to be at zero at all times, it’s to know where you are and adjust accordingly. Life inevitably throws curve balls. Moments of chaos are an inevitable part of the change process and do not necessarily mean you’ve gone backward. We are always spiraling forward.
What’s the Exit 0 sign pointing at in your life that needs some love and gentle change?
For the courageous among us… put your score in the comments and anything this exercise stirred up for you. I’ll read every one!
I am a 10 out of 21. Thank you for such a concise list!
How do we score this? For me, some questions feel like a "yes" is healthy, while others feel like a "no" is healthy. I guess we just decide which is which and give each unhealthy answer 1 point?