Do you have a big voice that gets you in trouble sometimes? I've learned that I have a big sword, and I need to get permission before penetrating others with it.
I use a bunch of sentences that all are slight variations on the same thing.
🔥 "Can I push you on this?"
🔥 "Are you open to a hard question?"
🔥 "Are you open to hearing what I get about this situation?"
🔥 "I have a thing that might be hard to hear. Are you in place to hear it?"
If they're stuck or looping through endless drama...
🔥 "Are you open to me guiding you through this?"
Mostly, people DO want the big sword. It's rare that they say no, AND it's essential for them to have a moment to pause, affirm their consent, and get themselves ready. That little inward breath of preparation makes all the difference in the world.
A sharp blade is the safest blade.
We can't step into our power without recognizing that our sword is sharp. It does us no good to dull it so that it won’t draw blood any longer. We can’t be of service if we let it gather rust under the bed. We weren’t given it to stroke our ego by hanging it on the wall over our desk like some dusty bowling trophy or taxidermy ibex head. The sword fits in our hand, ready to render service. When we honor our sword by sharpening it, we honor ourselves and each other.
😵 A note on what doesn’t work – "I have some feedback for you." That rankles the hackles immediately for just about everyone. They're already defensive before you've said anything. Use I-focused language to speak about your experience instead of projecting your blame onto them. This sounds like "I had some rocky spots in XYZ situation. Are you open to hearing how that was for me?"
If they say yes, continue with I-focused language like “I got really [overwhelmed/sad/embarassed/whatever] when ABC happened.” If this is unfamiliar to you, get yourself a copy of the Nonviolent Communication book to learn to skillfully use your sword.
🖤 Before we go, let’s fall down an interdimensional wormhole for a minute, shall we?
This particular sword on the card art is called a kris knife, which happens to be making a popular appearance in Dune this month. /*swoon*/ Unlike the straight worm tooth ones in the movie, the real kris knives from Bali, Indonesia, and Jakarta are often wavy because they represent the tail of the naga, dragon. Generations of specially-trained blacksmiths fashion them from damascene alloys made with meteorites and sing mantras into the blades. These will be used only for rituals by shamans.
See, there is a sacred way to wield your power.
P.S. I have a wild backstory to the art in the card as well as a personal connection with my name, Cris. About two years ago my guides told me I was Shadout Mapes. I was like… “Whaaaa? I’m the housekeeper in Dune?” Well, yes and no. Cris is the keeper of the kris knife.
[more over in this one-minute explainer video I made]
This is a draft of the Leader / Manipulative card in the Becoming Dragon 🖤 Oracle of Shadows. Pick a card, any card at becomingdragon.com.