Some of you are going to know exactly what I’m talking about. Some of you are going to wonder what I’m on about. I would so love to know the ratio of you whatzits to we whozits.
I have no judgment for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, but I have many pressing questions and perhaps some advice to ask.
I want to make this part of me that hates myself a wicker cat basket. I’m happy to make it little and snug or huge and cavernous. In whatever way this part of me likes to be loved, I’m (finally) willing and able to do so, as far as I can accommodate.
What happens if I refuse to hate the self-hatred?
Is that enough to unspring the hate trap?
I’ll hide and wait.
I’ll hope and see.
Finally, finally I’m sure I’m strong enough. In the past, I would have doubted. I would’ve thought the universe was a trap. I could reach the brass ring, but only if I had enough coin in my thin purse.
But I was never sure if I did – all the brass rings cost too much back then.
I never could trust myself to have the coin to purchase the brass ring the universe demanded as a key to free myself.
But who was the jailor? Was I the tailor of mine own trap? Strangely, it does appear so.
How to cut yourself out of a jacket made by the Houdini inside your mind? What a devious trick – yourself as the opponent.
I’m so tired of the self-hatred. The Self Hatred. The SELF Hatred. the self HATRED.
/me has been here way to long.
/myself
So…
That’s it. That’s the trick. I’ll stop refusing to hate the part of me that hates myself and let you know how it goes.
Please give it a shot and shoot me back a line, all y’all whozits.
Ta,
Your Friend Cris
P.S. Here’s the art that inspired today’s missive. Valeriya Volkova’s tiger looks just how I feel. Hat tip from our Resident Painter and Benefactor, Heather Watts.
Reminder: Next Monday the 18th we will begin a M-F 30 minute accountability container to get yer shiz together. It’s free for the first 30 days. No excuses.