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We began the transmission last week in part 1: What Makes Something Sacred? I promised I would share the photo of the scarf unfurled so you can see the intense eyes of the gorgeous and spooky Ladyboy who inspired her creation. Here she is in all her glory…
…and the transmission continues –
I have to know the difference between the part of me that is a towel that can be shared with others and the part of me that is sacred which stains and cannot easily be washed. I have to better discern who is worthy to allow inside this holy of holies.
I can't easily wash my silk scarf. It takes a layer of color off every time that I do. It has to be done with cold water by hand. I can't put it in the washing machine.
The act of washing it is sacred. The act of ironing it smooth is sacred.
Every time I take it off my body I can't just wrinkle it up. It's sacred, and I want it to be. I let that scarf be wrinkled for most of the years that it has been in my care, and I cannot anymore. When it does get wrinkled I have to take it home and renew it and thank it again.
I wish now for my scarf never to get stained, for me always to know its purity and its beauty, and to never get confused again between a towel and it – because it represents this deep part of me, this place that I have let get stained by people who did not treat my tender places with sacredness. I have been their towel with the sacred cloth in me that could not easily be laundered.
It cannot be so anymore – it simply cannot be so for me to dishonor my sacred parts. I can't. I haven't the slightest clue of how I will go forward with this knowledge because it's scary to me. Somehow I've been trying to earn love and money by being defiled in this way, and it has to stop right now.
It has already stopped indeed, already. I drew the line, I'm just catching up to what that means.
I am a being who knows herself both as the towel and as the sacred cloth, as the tapestry and as the one who sees the threads being woven in between all of our tapestries, and as the one who knows that we are not separate, none of us. In no way can we be. It is only an illusion that we're separate from Mama Gaia, Pachamama, of space and time.
This incarnation is of us, in us, as us. We cannot be separated.
And yet, I'm feeling the separation from the masculine. I indulge in this apparent separation. It creates polarity which creates a juicy spark. I enjoy longing in my bones for masculine bodies. I'm not at this moment ready to give up this hunger, because it serves me is serves me to hunger for these masculine beings because it's easier for me to connect to my sexuality through them. I hold it apart because I wish to enjoy this spark. There is pleasure in the polarity of apparent separation.
I understand lingerie.
I understand why I have certain pairs of panties that I wear when I'm bleeding that fit my body very snugly. Then they're perfect for the task. They're perfect to be like the towels that can be washed easily. I have underwear because they can be easily washed. They are not as precious as my clothing, which I wish to wash less frequently. I'm grateful to this underwear.
Then I also understand lingerie in a whole different way because we choose to make it of silk – that which is difficult to wash, that which has to be laundered with care and love.
The towel-like kind of underwear can be washed over and over. Lingerie, however, is made of the finest lace and silk which by its very integrity and very existence is precious.
You can't just rewear your dirty underwear. You can't rewear your lingerie – it has to be washed. It has to be fresh. You can't be seducing a love with stinky underwear on, it doesn't feel right. It’s not nice energetically. Sure, if you just wore it for a minute maybe, but if you actually got juicy in it… which is the point of the goddamn lingerie in the first place.
We want lingerie to get messy.
The luxury of it is that it's there to get dirty. It's a sacred cloth that's there to get dirty, which is why it has so much potency in our culture. It's why we would pay $300 for a tiny little triangle of silk because it carries the divinity of this potency. We can unlock its secret by understanding that it is both worth paying the money for and worth doing the work of washing and caring for it. It’s worth preparing yourself as a lover does to visit the temple and the God or Goddess that they know their partner to be with abundance.
Gratitude and love and blessings in your incarnation,
Cris and Team Dragon