Coordinates: at the low table in Oaxaca
I’ve finally worked up the courage to listen to Brene Brown’s latest #1 best-selling epic, Atlas of the Heart. Even the title of the book pierces me. I want an atlas to navigate the wilds and depths of my heart, don’t you? Well, we have one.
Why the need for courage, Cris?
I was afraid Brené had done something that would make my work, Becoming Dragon, a moot point or invalid. She breaks down emotions from love to loneliness, from embarrassment to envy, just as I do.
My fears said, “surely a rigorous methodology such as grounded theory research done by hoards of PhDs will render your findings stupid or at minimum vastly incomplete and therefore laughable.” They snarled “What do you really think you have to offer anyway? How are you going to go up against Brené? She has a Netflix special and an HBO docuseries already for gawdsakes. You’re too far behind.”
My guiding stars of hope grew dim.
It took some months, but finally one day it was time to hit play on the audiobook. I was in Egypt on a golf course overlooking the three Giza pyramids. I only listened for a few minutes before I got overwhelmed and hit stop. Six more months elapsed before I was ready to take a bigger drink.
As I finally listened to the audiobook, wheels began turning, connections forming. A smile spread across my face and then laughter. The fear was not correct.
My work is not in vain. If anything, I see how her effort will provide the foundation for mine. I can’t wait to get a paper copy so I can highlight, post-it note, and scribble the shit out of it.
Atlas is stunning, as expected. While you’re waiting a few more years for my book, the novel-length companion to the card deck, I highly recommend grabbing hers.
I again remember that I have much to add.
I have hope again. I see the pattern forming. I can again navigate by the future stars. They only had some clouds across them for a while.
I want to share her definition of hope and then the paragraph I wrote last month that’s become my guiding star of hope. I surely have needed it during some dark days and nights of doubt.
Hopelessness arises out of a combination of negative life events and negative thought patterns, particularly self-blame and the perceived inability to change our life circumstances.
Hopelessness stems from not being able to set realistic goals. We don’t know what we want and even if we can identify realistic goals we can’t figure out how to achieve them. […] We don’t believe in ourselves or in our ability to achieve what we want.
We develop hope, not in the easy or comfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort. Hope is forged when our goals, pathways, and agency are tested, and when change is actually possible. We don’t build hope when the systems that need to be changed actually can’t be moved by us.
– Atlas of the Heart
This time of cartwheeling change challenges us, but not for nothing. This is *the moment* when systems are breaking down and because of that (not in spite of it) change is possible. It’s easy to view this moment of overwhelming chaos as the enemy of change, but it is the engine of it. “The easiest time to change is when change is happening” according to Kyle Gray.
In a moment of hopelessness and despair, my deepest wisdom said to me –
Look for the seed crystals of coherence sewn throughout your garment and hidden in the garments and pockets of your fellow compatriots. They have them hidden in their palms, waiting to show them to you. Some are aware of them, some not.
What happens when we hold the possibility of a more beautiful existence?
I don’t know that vision of these seed crystals of coherence will turn out to be so, but I do know that if we don’t hold that space open for it to happen – we’ll miss it. The thing we most hoped for can happen right in front of our eyes, but if we lack the eyes to see or ears of understanding, the moment will slide past us.
We will fail to say yes to what we most want to say yes to. What’s worse, we realize it once it’s too late. So let’s not do that. The anguish of such a recognition delivers a bitter medicine I wish for you not to need to experience. The cost is just too damn high, and the time is just too damn late for that.
Instead, I roll out the red-carpet-engraved-invitation of welcome to you, fellow compatriots. If you have such a seed crystal of coherence, please reveal it in your own time.
“Dragonfly” launch
My best-friend and co-faciliator, David Swedlow and I are convening an 80-eyeball telescope for collective intelligence called Dragonfly. This is the seed crystal I know how to offer. We are learning to co-sense and co-create a shared awareness. I’m holding open the space of possibility for a compound eye (I) to arise.
Two of the humans you’ll be co-sensing with are a director of the future of a major tech company and a formulary chemist developing sustainable manufacturing of entheogens.
You’ll learn the skills needed to co-sense with the core partner in your life – be they romantic, creative, or business. They will change these relationships forever.
If you’re called to be in this council of men and non-binary humans, do get in touch.